Who is Grayshirt Man?

The Jew and I have been enjoying the odd stroll along Sea Point promenade lately to take in the atmosphere and scenery. Scenery being a mysterious young man who is always running at 17:30 dressed in a Gray shirt.

Now girls this hot fine specimen is a definite 15 out of 10. Facts show that in the last 13 years The Jew and I have been friends we have never, not once found the same man attractive till this very day.

I have never witnessed anyone looking so good covered in sweat! In fact earlier this week I happened to be driving along instead of walking, saw GrayShirt Man and nearly crashed my car!

Mental Note to self: Never do that again.

So please please please, anyone who has any whereabouts of this fine young man let me know so that I can stalk him for the rest of my existence.

Many Thanks
Debbie
CEO Of Grayshirt Man Fanclub

Winter Sniffles

So after just about everyone I know from the UK complaining about being sick this winter (especially Mr 'Associate Director' who is even threatening to cancel his trip to SA if he doesn't get better soon) I have decided to share with you my ancient and coveted anti illness remedies........

1. Eat at least 7 cloves of Garlic a day (swallow them like pills if your worried about bad breath)

2. Drink a breakfast smoothie with the following ingredients:

1 cup water,
1 whole peeled lemon and orange,
half a pear,
garlic clove,
fresh oregano,
cayenne pepper.
( beg or steal a blender if you don't have one)

3. Move away from the bloody UK.

Its called Vitamin D people! The sun is a healer, I should know after a blissful day at the pool yesterday....aaaaaaaa.

UK winters my ass!

Office Christmas Parties

Apologies for not supplying compelling reading to you yesterday but with silly season in full swing I was consumed by offices parties for the day.

The 'Jew' very kindly found me a temping job at her advertising company for December and yesterday was the staff party, now working at a creative company you would assume that all sorts of brilliant ideas would surface for the 'perfect staff day' however a decision was made to go to Ratanga Junction for the day. I wasn't too phased but since 'The Jew' suffers from Vertigo it may not have been the best choice.

On arrival 'The Jew' and I felt very out as the average age of clientele was 13 and we had forgotten to dress in our best Hannah Montana and High School Musical attire.

Remembering Ratanga in its Hay Day I was shocked by the decay, half the rides were closed, most of the restaurants were closed down and the whole place just looked rather dismal and run down. Do they not think that it might be time to just call it a day??

However the day was not lost to Ratanga because when 'The Jew' and I arrived home the company beneath our apartment was throwing a banging party for their staff and kindly invited us to join. I won't get into the juicy details but what I can say is that they mixed all the right ingredients of a good office party, some dancing, some scandal, some embarrassment and a killer headache in the morning!

Yahoo Ineffciency

So I get to my PC today after an interview that I think went really well ( What Dorks if they don't hire me!)
I open my Yahoo Inbox only to notice a whole lot of Mail Delivery failure and RE emails with Christmas as a subject title..........HUH????(I was thinking to myself)

Now before I continue with the story allow me to set the scene.... I have had this Yahoo address since the start of Cyberspace so there are ALOT of email addresses stored in my address book......Guys I dated in Grade 7, every single company Ive ever applied to, old girlfriends who's boyfriends Ive stolen, work colleagues........ you get the picture.

So some asshole hacker has hacked into Yahoo and sent every single person in my address book some stupid Christmas, come shop at our website spam email. We are talking about over 500 people who Ive known once upon a time who have now received this shit!!!

How embarrassed am I!!!!!

I haven't stopped receiving
"Oh my word its you!" ,
"Your still alive?",
"I hate you so stop mailing me",
"Debbie??? didn't we hold hands in school once?"
"Why are you sending me spam?" type emails all day.

To make it worse it seems millions (okay hundreds) have been affected by the same Hacker but Yahoo doesn't even have the decency to let us all know what is happening and why??

FOOLS

So after all these years today is the day I put my Yahoo email to rest. It was good while it lasted.

Johnny Walker does it in style

I had the privilege of cracking an invite to last nights Johnny Walker Red experience compliments of 'The Gertrude'

Being on a Monday night I was quite reluctant to go, as the couch looked so inviting after a busy weekend, but I dragged myself along swearing I would only stay for an hour.

After attending a rather average Brutal Fruit event on Saturday night I really wasn't expecting much, another pretentious Cape Town gathering perhaps?

However on arrival we were handed over to a stunning young man who took us through to a darkened room to begin the "Johnny Walker Experience"..........drum roll please..........

The idea of having a tasting in a dark room was genius as you really savour what you drink. Our host was informative and I felt every effort was used to build brand awareness which happens so rarely these days.

After our little whiskey lesson the doors opened onto the most elegant party I have ever witnessed. Laid back lounge tunes with a live trumpet player infused with hors d'oeures and an eccentric mix of Capetonians slowly sipping their sexy drinks.

I truly felt like I had been transported to a hip NYC bar. The organisers really got it right this time, great people, great music, great food, great product and fantastic environment.

So congrats Johnny Walker, you have transformed me into a true fan, needless to say I stayed well over a hour!

Next time I order a whiskey its definitely going to be 'Johnny Walker please and make that a double'

Marie Claire VS Hustler

I subscribe to the Marie Claire newsletter because I find that it doesn't include the usual Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears type gossip but rather something a bit more substantial.

However I was in shock when I saw today's headline....See Jeniffer Aniston's Raunchiest look yet.

Am I reading Marie Claire or Hustler?? This is not the type of image a female wants to see first thing on a Monday morning. What are you thinking Marie Claire?



Marie Claire


VS


Hustler

Thanks for ruining my morning!!

SA Crime Concern

Ive only been back in the country for four weeks and already two friends have been involved in a 'smash and grab'

This is obviously a cause for concern. However I would like to take a moment to talk about the intelligence of these 'smash and grabbers'

The first victim was my next door neighbor who had his laptop stolen from the seat next to him. The second victim was my good friend ' The Cherman' who had her handbag stolen from her seat.

So smash and grabber number one gets a laptop to the value of R10 000. Not to shabby for a three second job. I say good for him. He saw a opportunity and he took it.

Smash and grabber number two on the other hand steals a handbag from a 20 something female.... lets see what he gets out of the deal.

Lip Gloss in five fruity flavors
Birth Control Pills
Hand Cream
Emergency Sewing Kit
A empty wallet with a couple of maxed out credit cards.
Mobile Phone
Hair Straightener

Resale value around R400 ( If his lucky enough to sell the Phone and the Hair Straightener)

I mean really where is the sense and intelligence in that??? I just don't get it! So to all you would be 'smash and grabbers' out there, don't steal from females.
Your profit margin is low and its just plain rude to part a lady and her Hair Straightener!

Google = Alcoholism

In my excitement at having started a blog I thought it wise to Google 'Life does Debbie' and see how far down the rankings my site would appear. I had no big dreams, in fact I would have been quite happy to see my link on page two, even three for that matter but NO.......to my utter dismay I made it all the way to page 11 without seeing one reference to my blog, nothing, nada, niks.
Why Google why??????

On the bright side I guess this means no-one is reading what I'm writing so I can continue to write utter crap without the worry of people laughing at me.

However my feelings had been hurt by Google's lack of interest in me and the only thing to do was get horribly pissed on cheap red wine.

Why am I going for the cheap variety you ask? Well besides the fact that I'm currently unemployed I also refuse to spend money on something that's just going to make me feel like shit in the morning anyway!!

The situation is getting so bad that this is the label from my last box of Dooswyn. (Box wine)

Photographic evidence compliments of "The Jew"

Day 1 as a Blogger

Well for all of you who are thinking this blogging thing is easy, I tell you its Not!!
Ive been sitting at my desk for what feels like hours wondering how on earth to summarize the past 24 years of my life into one post?? Impossible I tell you, impossible!!!

Ill start with three basic things to know about me........

1. Spelling and grammar, not my forte, which again leads me to the thought that this blogging thing is not so easy!

2. Female, blond, big boobs, small ass, size 6, dating Ryk Neethling, most popular girl in Cape Town....... *

3. Confused, confused, confused.

So due to point three, I found this fantastic website which claims to sum one up by you making visual choices for questions ( I just love these quiz like, time wasting surveys)

So here in a nutshell is the essence of me.....

Find your own essence http://youniverse.com/

*It excites me how one can stretch the truth on the Internet.